Lessons About Love

I wanted to share a story by Jose L. Stevens that  I read today about the hard lessons of love.  Below is an excerpt from the article that can be found on his website thepowerpath dot com.

I bolded a few sentences that really struck me.  This story made me ask myself  deeper questions about a personal challenge I am dealing with.  It made me understand at a deeper level why this challenge has come up for me over and over.  Jose’s story helped me realize that I have been forced to confront an aspect of myself that I have not fully forgiven and embraced.  I know I need to make  peace with the situation or else it will continue to haunt me.  Just this realization has  lifted my spirit.  Perhaps Jose’s story below will also inspire you to ask yourself questions about a difficult situation you may be having and to gain insights on how to change it.  Perhaps there  is someone in your life that really pushes your buttons. Or perhaps there is a situation in your life that keeps haunting you.  Why is this person or situation a part of your life?  What lessons do you need to learn?  They are there for a reason.  Our personal demons are there to help us evolve.  Enjoy the story.

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“When we think of lessons about love, we usually think of romantic themes or the love between a parent and a child, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. The truth is, lessons about love can be extremely difficult and show up in ways that seem to have nothing to do with love at all. The truth is, that unless we learn these tough lessons, we will not make very much progress toward our eventual awakening. These lessons can be true knuckle biters and every great master or teacher this planet has seen has faced enormous personal challenges in the face of love, no exceptions.

Recently I had one hard love lesson of my own. My wife Lena and I own some land near Mora, New Mexico where we have many summer shamanic retreats, trainings, and events. We call it Eagle Bear Ranch and it is reached from the highway via a long windy, rocky, and steep dirt road that crosses land that we do not own but have an easement on. The road has been deteriorating over the years due to the rain, snow, and much use and needed work badly. I called the woman who I knew owned most of the land and talked to her about fixing the road and she agreed it needed attention. I suggested that we could save some money by using a great pile of rocky red earth that had been sitting by the side of the road for years. We could spread it over the rocks and improve the road. She said that was fine.

I have an old dump truck and a skidsteer and after a couple of months I had our Huichol friends come out and work on the road. They are very good with heavy machinery and began to make a lot of progress. They did a wonderful job and I was delighted with the roadwork. One afternoon they came back to camp upset and said that a “crazy man” had yelled at them and kicked them off the road. It turned out to be the man who owned a short section of the property that the road went through. He had bought the land from the woman’s father I had called. Legally, we had the right to fix a road that we had an easement on if the road became impassable or difficult. Yet in my enthusiasm to fix the road I had neglected to consult with him about that short section of road that he had purchased. That afternoon, when I went to look at the road, it was all trashed. In a rage the man had taken his own tractor and tried to scrape off all the new surface we had put down. When I saw that he had destroyed much of the good work the Huichols had done I was in a rage myself. In my mind’s eye, I saw my hands reaching for his throat to choke him and worse. I found it extremely disturbing that I could not stop these raging thoughts. I knew that this was not good, but I had a hard time controlling my anger. I did not want to confront him until I had better control over my anger.

I went directly to my spiritual practices. I did Ho’oponopono over and over again. This is a Hawaian shamanic practice to reduce conflict. In the short version, one imagines telling the person they have conflict with that they are very sorry this problem has come between them. One takes responsibility for the conflict and apologizes for creating a reality where there is this fight and unpleasantness. It goes something like this: “I am sorry this has come between us. I am sorry that I dreamed this version of reality where you are angry with me and I am angry with you. I forgive you for whatever I have been blaming you for and I forgive myself for whatever I have done to contribute to the problem. I love you and I love myself no matter what has happened, because I am a son of the Great Spirit. You are my brother, a fellow son of the Great Spirit, the same as me. Thank you for helping me to learn this lesson.

Try as I might, I lay in bed awake all night, still angry as hell. I saw clearly that I had created this event to learn something about love, but I was damned in letting go of the anger. Little by little, I made progress. I was able to see that this man, a warrior, represented my older brother (also a warrior) with whom I had a lot of conflict as a child. I was projecting certain things onto him that belonged with my brother, who I thought I had forgiven, but evidently I had not been thorough enough. When I was a child, I feared my older brother. He physically hurt me and one time when I was about four I hit him over the head with hammer with the intention to kill him and get rid of him. Of course I failed and all I did was make him cry and I got in big trouble for it. Now I feared what this man was doing to our work on the road and I was so angry at him for it I had similar murderous fantasies.

My wife Lena and I agreed that she would be the one to talk with him about the road because I might make things worse, given my mood and projections. She was much more neutral about the event and was able to do some healing work about the event long distance. This turned out to be very successful. She took him some cookies and visited him with my daughter Anna who brought my new four month old grandchild. As it turned out, he was contrite about what had occurred and muttered something about it just being a road. She saw that he was quite lonely and not being consulted about his section of road had triggered him to attack. They had a good conversation about how to come to a compromise. The result was that we would agree to bring in some base-course to cover the red earth on his section of road that he objected to. The entire event cost us an extra several thousand dollars but the outcome was what we needed, to be able to fix the road.

By the end, I was able to see that he represented that part of me that has at times, felt ignored and not included in decisions. While he is not my favorite character and I would prefer not to have another run in with him, I no longer feel like choking him and I am not upset anymore about what happened. When I look at the bigger picture, I realize that there are much tougher lessons about love to be dealt with. What if he had killed my family instead? What if he had run me off the road and paralyzed me? Would I be able to forgive him for that? That would be much harder, but that is what I would have to do in the long run.

Lessons of love are not just about romance. They are often about nitty gritty relationships that come up into your face to be dealt with without warning. These may have to come up over and over and over again until there is no fear left, nothing left but love. “Damn! It’s hard”. And it’s not fun, but there is no other way out unless one is willing to repeat these events again and again. I want them done, for good. This is the only way we are going to move forward in this world, to a new world, where hate does not dominate our experience as human beings. ..”

July 2011 Forecast–Personal Growth and Big Breakthroughs

The main theme for July is Birth.

It is OK to feel like a different person, to not know who you are, to sense that something has changed in a big way even though you can’t really say what it is, and to feel somewhat unsettled, ungrounded and anxious. It means you have found yourself in a new landscape and are uncertain as to how to navigate and move forward. Learn to let spirit guide you and give up trying to control everything. There is great opportunity this month for personal growth and truly stretching your container of what is possible. You can adopt a whole new belief system and expand your awareness to the degree you never thought possible.

The “birth” theme of the month can also be seen as a re-birth. Re-birth always follows the death of something. It is not too late to give up and let go of attachments that may have been holding you back. What in you still has to die for you to be able to have a re-birth into a new life?

We have been in labor and in the birth canal for a while now. Labor is uncomfortable and being in the birth canal is intense. We leave the safety of the known environment that has gotten too small for our growth. We are launched into a new world that we have no idea yet how to navigate. It is a scary place of stimulus, danger and our focus is instantly on the basic need for survival. We are vulnerable yet strong with a powerful intent to survive and live life. If you have ever watched newborn animals at this critical phase, their ability to propel themselves fully into life in order to survive is amazing.

At this juncture we have been launched into something new. We are all in some process of birth whether we like it or not. Some of us are still in labor as some labors are longer than others. The shorter labors provide more intensity and the longer labors provide for more preparation even though they may leave you somewhat weakened. Some of us are already in the birth canal with the realization that there is no going back. And some of us are actually crowning and ready to explode into a new life.

Just as it is important to have good physical caretakers that await you as you are born, and helpful teachers as you learn to navigate physical life, it is also important at this time to have strong guidance and support from your spiritual practice, your relationship to spirit and nature, your guides and allies, and those who can help you at this time. The support of community is also being called upon to provide a strong container for this new experience.

An infant at birth has no idea how their intentions and life goals will manifest as they mature. An infant at birth is pure potential landing in an environment of vast opportunity, pure innocence, and not yet imprinted with the limited belief systems of others. The imprinting and circumstances of a physical infants birth and first experience of life is usually dictated by karma, agreements and a chosen blueprint. Your birth now into something new carries a freedom with it of choice with regards to intention, imprinting and limitations. Use this time well and decide how you wish to live, how you intend to be supported and what you choose as your new imprinting. You can either limit yourself or go for an expanded sense of freedom and creativity.

An infant spends a great deal of time on the astral plane bringing across the information needed for developing the lifetime. You may find yourself drawn into dreamtime for short catnaps during the day. Do not resist this. It is important time on the astral plane. An infant is curious and trusting and has no way yet of defining the present based on past experiences. Practice living your life like an infant whenever possible. This will keep all your options open and allow you to truly see things in a new way.

We can’t stress enough how truly amazing this time is for breaking through into something new. See every challenge as an opportunity and trust in the big picture when events around you are being defined as negative, destructive or unnecessary. It is a raw and edgy time. Emotions will run high and aggression could be at its worst. Just as a woman in the process of giving birth is not always the nicest to be around, everyone going through their own process will have times of being cranky, overwhelmed, out of sorts, very uncomfortable, and even in major meltdown mode. Have compassion for yourself and for others around you. You have grown beyond the size of the old container and it is time to push through into a new landscape. It is scary leaving the known environment even though you are cramped and squeezed but there is no other option at this time. We are at the point of no return and there is no going back. An infant that refuses to come out of the womb when it is time will become toxic with its own waste. Do not let that happen to you. Let go, let go, let go. Your future security will depend on how well you navigate the birth canal, not whether or not you can hold on to any of your old structures.

An infant needs care. You need care. It is a time to put yourself and your needs first. We are not talking about high maintenance needs of the physical body personality here. We are addressing care in terms of health, spiritual life, time, rest, creativity, love, and allowing yourselves to do the things that you love to do and have wanted to do for a long time. Personal care is nurturing and protecting the new landscape, not taking things personally that others may project onto you, and making sure that you put yourself and your true desires of spirit first. It is a good time to revisit your definitions of responsibility and to differentiate between your true responsibilities and the dependent expectations of others. Being of service is not carrying another’s burden but rather showing them the way through your own example.

This month is crucial for taking some time for self and for setting good boundaries against energy leaks from others, bad habits or behaviors. It is an excellent time to be surrounded by nature whenever possible. Focus on the power of the sun as the representative of fire, one of the elements of the year and a masculine energy. Bless the service of this element and spirit in your life. Focus on the power of water and the other element of the year and a feminine energy. Bless the service of water, its life-giving as well as destructive force. Pay attention to your own water element in your body. Feed it with the spirit of water. Focus on the masculine sky realm as the patriarchal father archetype witnessing and supporting your birth, protecting the infant, imprinting it with the unconditional love of the generous and protective masculine.

Click here to access the full monthly commentary packed with tips to help you strengthen your relationships, health, finances and more.   Print out the full forecast and reference it throughout the month. (The above is an excerpt from the commentary).

The author of the monthly forecast, Lena Stevens, is an author and co-founder of an international school and consulting firm dedicated to the study and application of shamanism and wisdom.  Lena Stevens has co-authored books with Jose Stevens, Ph.D., such as Secrets of Shamanism:Tapping the Spirit Power Within You and The Power Path: The Shaman’s Way To Success in Business and Life.